He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So much Jack, so little girl.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
