Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
