All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
