new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
