Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I had to cum in my sink.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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