Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
