TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
