I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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