woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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