I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
