im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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