Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
