I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
