I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize