I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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