It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize