Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
