Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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