I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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