I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
