You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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