yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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