You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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