She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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