I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
People in love make me want to vomit
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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