last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
