Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
