I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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