The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
