we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
