Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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