Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
