Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
