we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
