Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
