I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
