i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize