PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
