I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
