Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
