just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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