I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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