just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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