She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
