hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
