some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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