This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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