I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
