Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
