just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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