Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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