That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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