I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
