I looked at my own cervix.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
