"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
