Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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