the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize