So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
