Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
