I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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