You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
