So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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