Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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