are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize