spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
love makes seman taste better
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
