I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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