We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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