i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
