did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i believe in u and ur pee
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
