handjob tips. give me some.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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