I hate your face
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
