I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
