think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You smell like a Billy Joel song
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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