I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize