if i died would you start the facebook group?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
